My name is Abraham and I doubt God!
Glad that’s out of the way. I feel like every time I say that I am in some sort of AA meeting, except in this one everyone is staring at me with a shocked look. However, I don’t think everyone is as shocked as they say! Let me explain…
If you are anything like me you understand at times following God seems like a fairytale. Sometimes when I look over the stories of Jesus I immediately think of a comic book character that seems to be all-powerful. I mean he walks on water, heals people, walks through walls, and flies on clouds! Stan Lee couldn’t have written it better. There are many mornings [Graphic imagery alert] that I stand in my shower thinking, is this all real? Does any of this mean anything? What if a group of guys got together a long time ago and just made up all of this? But I think these are not questions that only I have, but everyone has them.
Let me say something scary now…
These questions really could come at anytime in your walk and I think they are valid questions that create a weird tension in our lives. If we let this go too far we start to question all parts of our faith, which seems scary, but I am here to tell you question!!!!
I come from an atheist background, so questioning God and religion is a joy I used to have... and secretly between us… I still have that joy. Questioning and doubt are healthy components to our faith. Realistically doubt is what draws us out of the complacency of our faith into the unknown where God shapes us most. It is in those questions about our faith that we find who God really is.
Think of it this way: Your faith is a castle, which is safe and protected. What if this castle, being so safe and protective, is actually keeping God distant? Doubt tears down the walls and forces you to journey into the unknown.
I have a secret about doubt. Doubt is healthy. Yes, I said healthy. What makes doubt healthy is that it draws us into a spiritual maturity. However, what makes doubt unhealthy is when we get stuck. When we stop seeking God and give up because we found a question that we think stumps us, so we throw our hands in the air and yell “I surrender”.
I’m here to encourage you and tell you that it is okay to doubt. In those seasons push forward towards God and don’t stop. Draw deeper into your faith headfirst and know that He will be there. Continue to pursue the answers you seek.
Always remember: Doubting God will never define your faith, but it will always build your faith.
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Abraham grew up in the middle of California before he made his way to Orange County for Vanguard University. He graduated with a degree in Biblical studies and is currently pursuing his Master of Arts in Theology at Fuller Theological Seminary. More recently Abraham has relocated to San Diego to be a Middle School Director. If there is people, coffee, and good conversation that is generally where you will find him.