Goal Guide: Relational Goals


How would you score the relationships in your life on a scale from 1 to 10? 

No pressure. Mine are just okay. For most of my life I was actually a pretty crappy friend and family member. Here’s why:

A few years back, a couple friends and I decided to do some inner-work on our egos. As an exercise in self-discovery and awareness we mapped out genograms, took a few personality tests, spent time in meditation, and read a couple books. What I discovered about myself was PAINFUL. My ego, or shadow as Pete Scazzero calls it, is an enemy of God. It is selfish, competitive, emotionally detached, and destructive. 

Why is that?

In his work on the Trinity, Richard Rohr says that God is Relationship. In other words, the solution to the woes of this world, or the woes in my life (of my ego), is Relationship.

According to the book When Helping Hurts, the following four relationships are the building blocks of human activity. Mine were ALL BROKEN, letting the ego run wild.

  • Relationship with God
  • Relationship with Self
  • Relationship with Others
  • Relationship with Rest of Creation

In 2017, I am committed to RELATIONSHIP. First with God – Second with my Wife – Thirdly with our Son (on the way) – and after that with Others and the Rest of Creation. Nothing else should take precedence. 

I don’t know about you, but I want to THRIVE. I want to enjoy life to the fullest and live FREE from the chains of shame and regret. I want God to run wild in my life, nothing else. A conclusion I’ve drawn from the inner work I’ve been doing is: the way to this desire, which is the way of Love, is through the four relationships listed above. Because if Richard Rohr is correct, God is Relationship and He is Love.

To get there, I plan to take small, intentional steps, like the three goals listed above.  

What is one step you can take toward healing or strengthening a Relationship this year?

Let’s do this.

P.S. Here are some great books to check out: The Emotionally Healthy Leader by Pete Scazzero, When Helping Hurts by Brian Fikkert and Steve Corbett, The Divine Dance by Richard Rohr

Joshua Fieldson

Josh is a thoughtful and passionate leader. Currently, he is serving with Azusa Pacific University as the Assistant Director for Mobilization, where he leads marketing, educational programming, and on-going research and assessment for the Center for Student Action. Josh resides in Long Beach, California with his wife Stephanie of two years, where they enjoy outdoor adventures and the eclectic mix of cultures. In 2012, Josh earned his Master's in Public Health from Long Beach State University and plans to pursue an M.A. in Pastoral Studies from APU.