Confessions of a Comparison Addict pt. 3

Hi…yet again. My name is still David, and I’m still a comparison addict, but that is not my identity. And I refuse to look down upon how God has uniquely made me.

Growing up I played basketball. Basketball is my favorite sport…I like the way they dribble up and down the court (Kurtis Blow anyone?). When I was 10 I had aspirations of growing to be 7 feet tall and play professional basketball in the NBA. Unfortunately, that dream did not become reality. I only grew to be 6’2”, which isn’t short, but wasn’t the height I was hoping for when I was young.

My point is this: There are a lot of abilities and strengths that are within our control, such as attitude, work ethic (which develops skills), determination, etc. But then there are things that aren’t within our control. These things include natural strengths, personality traits, opportunities, etc. Of course you can make the argument that we can work at changing our personality and even some opportunities are within our control of obtaining. To this I say I agree, but only to a small degree. Nevertheless my point is this: that there are factors that affect the trajectory of our lives that are not necessarily in our control. I didn’t have much control over how tall I grew, which is a factor outside of my control. If I grew to be 7 feet tall, the trajectory of my life would have gone a different direction, a direction towards professional basketball (obviously hard work is necessary, but being taller gives you an incredibly helpful head start).

Often I have compared myself to others wishing my story and abilities were exactly like theirs. I don’t have a big personality. Rather, my personality is a little more reserved. I’m not usually the one to voice my opinions quickly, and I’m not a fan of confrontation. But there was a season in my working life when I was in a position of leadership that required me to be more of an extraverted and confident leader. Needless to say this was quite challenging for me. It didn’t help comparing myself to people who thrive in that position. I would often find myself wishing I had their talents and personality.

What resulted was me questioning God’s calling on my life, and even being angry with God for how He has created me.

But when we remain angry at God for not making us as gifted and influential as others, we miss out on being all that God wants us to be.

God has uniquely created you and gifted you to carry out His purpose on your life. Don’t sideline yourself because you feel you’re not like someone you perceive to be better. As I’m writing this I feel as though I am writing to myself. Maybe I am, and whoever reads this gets to have a sneak-peak into my internal dialogue.

But this is the journey of a recovering comparison addict: Always keeping check on my internal dialogue. I must constantly make sure that the thoughts I have of myself are aligned with God’s thoughts of me. And the more I walk with Jesus, the more I realize that God’s thoughts of me are higher than I give Him credit for.

So the journey continues, but not alone. I have Jesus walking alongside me, reminding me of my true identity as a deeply loved child of God. That’s a big identity to live out. It has no room for comparison.

May this post find itself encouraging to you. Continue to live into your true identity, and resist the temptation to listen to comparison and the message of inferiority of it proclaims.

Your fellow sojourner,

David Beavis


Eating lots of food and looking at pictures of puppies are couple of ingredients to David's perfect day. The driving passion of David's life is walking alongside people as they figure out what it means to follow Jesus today. David holds a B.A. in Psychology from Vanguard University and an M.A. in Theology from Talbot School of Theology. He currently works at Mariners Church in Irvine on the High School Ministry team. He lives is Costa Mesa, California.